RESURRECTION

I can tell everybody who feels out of control or hope that THERE IS HOPE! True, grounded, effective HOPE! I repeat: THERE IS HOPE.

You don't have to solve it all! The pressure's off! He has a plan, just accept it from Him! I know it sounds cliché but it all fits and it all makes sense - best of all, it's true!

I still have depression, anxiety, addictions and personality disorders mixed in with a whole load of other shit that all needs dealing with and of course I'll have bad days but now I have a reason to look up! The reason. No more of this "My girlfriend keeps me going", "New meds will do it", "Dogs", "Yoga", "Sex", "Weed", " Retail therapy"...they're all replacements!

He made you. You weren't known and loved by Fido or Ralph Lauren before the beginning of time but by Jesus!

Look at my writing. Look back. See how different it is. This is not some ridiculously orchestrated religious feat to 'get you over to my side' - I have had the worst year of my life and genuinely attempted suicide twice last weekend. Read the accounts on my blog of loss, pain, numbness, doubt, anxiety and general misery that has defined my life for months. Read it. It's all true.

But last night, at 02:00, I woke up and realised I still love God and somehow he's still there - as in here - and that my eyes have been opened to the fact that there's HOPE. The only real hope I've ever felt (again). Thank you to those who've been praying for me. Now, just as the Gospel writers testified to the new life and HOPE they found in Jesus, so am I doing the same now. He's the same, it's all the same, it's all true.

I don't know about the future. I may die tomorrow. My depression may get even worse but at the present moment all I can say is what I know about the past is true and frankly, since that's the case, then our lives have eternal consequences; and I think I've been through utter shit so that I can wake up those of you who are trundling through this life without realising the gravity of living everyday without Jesus because we need Him. I need Him. I kinda knew I did but was blinded to just how much I need him - don't scoff; don't be that stubborn old man who doesn't go to the GP before it's too late. Jesus has given us our diagnosis and we need to wake up and accept him!

I might be depressed but I'm awake, and it ain't hypomania because I understand the gravity of not accepting the true source of life! The Bible says we're dead in our sin if we don't accept Him! Dead! Don't give me those comfortable, actually-really-outdated arguments like "Well, we don't really know what happened" BLA BLA BLA WE ARE BEING OFFERED HOPE AND JOY AND LIFE AND IT ALL SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE BECAUSE GOD IS AWESOME AND YOU WON'T SEE IT UNLESS YOU JOIN THE PARTY (NOT THE POLITICAL KIND).

Share this, get talking: this is good news, people - think about why it's called that.

Just because this country "used to be Christian" (I am not denying that, I just don't like the phrase) it doesn't mean it can't be again! (bite me)

HOPE HOPE HOPE HOPE!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?!

Nothing can promise the future unless they're god-like...or God! No human, no Government, no job, no relationship, no ideology, no philosophy (stfu Hegel); nothing human-based can promise hope because hope is based in the future and none of us have been there/ are capable of envisioning it, let alone planning it. Let me assure you from experience that plans mean nothing. What is a plan? An idea? Even if you have things in place, there is nothing to stop those falling apart because everything is fragile. Millionaires have become homeless. Scared? Good! WAKE UP! We can trust Jesus!

What's gotten into me? Life. New life. A good friend of mine had the insight that I was exhausted...not (just) of energy, but of life. Now I have new life and HOPE. Jesus is real and you need Him. You can choose to go your own way (love a bit of Fleetwood or Chris Rea) but let me tell you that being self-obsessed/self-sustaining/self-focussed does not get lighter. It does not get more fun. Being surrounded by oneself gradually twists one's thinking; it gets darker, lonelier and colder. You do not give yourself life; you never have. You got it from your parents and you keep it going by your environment. Don't settle for biological life but come to the source. LIFE. LOVE. JOY. HOPE.

If this seems off to you then that's probably because your view of God is off. That's usually the case - it was with me.

Are you excited by this? Get talking and reading! Confused? Get talking and reading! Angered? You get the idea!

If you're indifferent then this isn't your time. But if you're engaging, DON'T STOP! (really got a Fleetwood theme going)

Why are you still reading?!

WAKE. UP.

JESUS IS ALIVE.