Firstly, I am not writing this to `Bible-bash` atheism. Many of you will probably be reading this through my Facebook page, meaning that you'd know my faith in Christ. I discovered YouTube videos of `Proof for God’s
existence`, thousands upon thousands of arguments for
God, and then those against God, then counter-arguments from both sides, and it’s ridiculous. Of
course I want people to believe in Jesus, and there’s a time and a place for
arguments, but a lot of the online debate is just becoming one side slagging off the
other. Just
wanted to point that out before saying anything else, as that is my strange little way of saying "Welcome to my blog!"…
`Blue Like Jazz`. The name of a fantastic book by Donald
Miller, though a strange title. This book was bought for me by a good, wise
friend. I literally the judged the book by its cover and title and thought
“Meh. I’ll read it later.” Lo and behold, one year later I pick up the book and
start reading it. And from the very first page I enjoyed reading it. It’s the
kind of book where there’s a revelation on almost every page, yet every one seemed so simple after thinking about it for a
couple of seconds. Profound truths are found within those pages. Trudat. However, this
is not a book review so I’ll get to the point. I was expecting a good end to
the book, but nothing like what I read. On the last page, summing up his
thoughts, Don writes “If you haven’t done it in a while, pray and talk to
Jesus”. Wow. Why was that such a shock? Allow me to explain – and this is the
reason for this blog…
I have had a pretty tough month. By the end, I was drained.
Drained physically, emotionally, and crucially, spiritually. There are certain
things that shouldn’t be shared online, but everything that I put on this I
regard to be as appropriate to share. I am writing this for the hope that
people may be able to take something from what I have to write. I don’t
consider my thoughts or stories to be amazing or particularly special, but I
think there are things to take out of every situation.
The reason for my difficult month…was pride. It was my own
fault. I wanted to do something, and when I prayed, I felt that God was saying
the contrary. For that reason, because of my pride and stubbornness I did not
want to spend time with God. So I didn't. I
just sort of stopped. That turned out to be more of a stupid decision that I
initially thought. For when I pray, I change, slowly but surely. When I stop
praying, I still change, just in ways that aren't positive. Previously, at any times that I have not prayed, I have become
impatient, arrogant, unfocused, and less resistant to things like temptation
and anger. C.S. Lewis writes of pride in his chapter `The Great Sin` in Mere Christianity. It's so true, read it, he phrases it much better than I ever could. He essentially describes pride as being "the chief cause of misery in every nation". I felt that misery for a while. I became a not-very-nice person to be around, I thank God for my friends who always stay with me.
Now, I am not suggesting that non-Christians are monsters. Of course not. I know so many wonderful non-Christians. What I'm trying to say is that after being in a relationship with God, and abruptly stopping it, I have been affected. If there is no God, I cannot comprehend as to why I would have this horrible weight on my shoulders whilst not putting aside time for Him, and that the moment I thought, THOUGHT, that what I was doing was ridiculous and I needed to go back to God, I felt an instant peace and the lifting of that yoke on my shoulders. Forget doctrine and any complex theological thinking for a while. I am talking about real life. I think the Church has gained the image of using jargon in the wrong places, not making the truth of the Gospel applicable to everyone. If you're not a Christian, I'm telling you of a God who's not aloof and distant, or cold. I read recently of someone who said that they didn't believe somebody could genuinely love God. I'm sorry, but I do. I believe in Him, in what Jesus did, and how that truth changes my life today. "I am a friend of God, He calls me friend"
Finally, I failed the Giraffe test. (A test where you're given a riddle that if you fail your profile picture becomes a giraffe for three days.) Now, I'm glad I got it wrong. It taught me a lesson in my pride, as I thought it would be easy, and so gave the wrong answer with a sneer of self-confidence on my face. That sneer turned into a frown, before finally becoming a half-smile as I realised my pride. Time for that to change.
I apologise for the length of this post, as for my first one I wish to give the correct impression, and give the thoughts I want to give. If you've made it to here, well done, and thank you, I hope this may speak something to you.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."
P.s. Anybody else who uses a blog notice that the spell-checker on this thing doesn't recognise the word `blog`?!
Now, I am not suggesting that non-Christians are monsters. Of course not. I know so many wonderful non-Christians. What I'm trying to say is that after being in a relationship with God, and abruptly stopping it, I have been affected. If there is no God, I cannot comprehend as to why I would have this horrible weight on my shoulders whilst not putting aside time for Him, and that the moment I thought, THOUGHT, that what I was doing was ridiculous and I needed to go back to God, I felt an instant peace and the lifting of that yoke on my shoulders. Forget doctrine and any complex theological thinking for a while. I am talking about real life. I think the Church has gained the image of using jargon in the wrong places, not making the truth of the Gospel applicable to everyone. If you're not a Christian, I'm telling you of a God who's not aloof and distant, or cold. I read recently of someone who said that they didn't believe somebody could genuinely love God. I'm sorry, but I do. I believe in Him, in what Jesus did, and how that truth changes my life today. "I am a friend of God, He calls me friend"
Finally, I failed the Giraffe test. (A test where you're given a riddle that if you fail your profile picture becomes a giraffe for three days.) Now, I'm glad I got it wrong. It taught me a lesson in my pride, as I thought it would be easy, and so gave the wrong answer with a sneer of self-confidence on my face. That sneer turned into a frown, before finally becoming a half-smile as I realised my pride. Time for that to change.
I apologise for the length of this post, as for my first one I wish to give the correct impression, and give the thoughts I want to give. If you've made it to here, well done, and thank you, I hope this may speak something to you.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."
P.s. Anybody else who uses a blog notice that the spell-checker on this thing doesn't recognise the word `blog`?!
