On one sunny June morning, a 21 year-old boy, full of darkness and confusion, arrives at Gilead Foundations. He moves his belongings into his new room, fills out the necessary forms and settles in. He knows that this is the right place to be; he has reached rock bottom - though he tried to dig down further - but the time has come to turn around and start climbing up again.
It is time to leave behind the selfish ways of childhood...and grow up.
Within one month of returning to work (physically/spiritually/mentally/emotionally), the boy's family say he is like a different person: willing to hold a conversation with those he previously blamed and disrespected; lighter in spirit and less angry; starting to open up, even accepting responsibility for his decisions. His sleep patterns have started to even out. He is eating healthily. Goodness me, is that...is that a smile?!
Slowly, surely, he changes. As he listens to those who know what they are talking about, he learns that he has believed the wrong things for many years. God is not malicious. This boy is not supposed to sort everything out by himself. He is worthy of love. He had believed these truths in his head, and confessed them, even taught them, to others; yet, emotionally, he had not truly believed them. Emotionally, he was not practising what he was preaching. "God is love and He wants you to experience His love" - "but His love does not apply to me: how dare I receive it?" God may have saved his spirit, but his mind was unrenewed and was enslaved to lies and desires.
Such change requires choice, however. Those who rely on compulsive behaviours to cope with life chose, at one point, to seek escape in their 'drug' of choice, instead of asking for help. They find it helps, for a brief moment in time, and use it again. Thus begins an addiction. Alcohol, heroine, sex, shopping, even exercise...anything that takes away the pain and fear. Our 21 year-old has relied on the wrong things for over a decade. He is blessed: some go for many decades without change; some never change; some never even learn that they need to change.
He chooses to take the more difficult route instead of blocking out the pain. He does not get it right straight away, and sometimes chooses to go back to the ways of comfort that he knows so well. However, because he has support - a lot of it - he is able to stop beating himself up and receive love and help. He discovers that he is worthy of love - he always was! He's actually kinda cool. He's liked himself before - too much, in fact; enjoying the attention of others had been one form of escape - but never truly loved himself. That is a choice.
As this boy continues down the narrow path, it does not get easier. Yet, it becomes more rewarding. As he gives instead of just taking, he finds that it is better to give. It is more difficult, yet more rewarding. Giving...gives back. He learns many such new things. Putting these things in practise takes courage, but when he has faith, he grows. Things do not work out how he expected, but they turn out to be better in the end. This strange new life needs new tools, new muscles, new sight and new ears. Following Jesus turns out to be more difficult than he imagined, much more rewarding, and much, much more glorious.
This boy has started to become a man.
